7 Rituals For Heavy Times
I'm learning not to 'disclaimer' my own emotional weight by countering with all the things that are great and that I'm grateful for. Toxic positivity are two great words for 'emotional repression'. And it always ends up seeping out sideways if we don't acknowledge the times we don't feel great and be with ourselves kindly in them.
Also, this is not a 'feeling shit competition'.
I am grateful. Full-stop. In LIFE. For life. Always.
AND sometimes the fuc*iness get's a little too fu*ky.
Most days, I am GOLDEN all the day long. Some days are mixed. All the emotions. Some days feel like they're pocked with bubbles of numbness.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe your numb moments, or angry moments, or anxious moments, or even your moments of depression are greater than the golden moments. If this is the case, I see you.
Regardless of these times (Or if it was back in 2019;), if we're present with ourselves we are going to feel all the feelings. It's life. And right NOW... Holy Sage Smudge-Stick Catwoman... it's MAD at times. Mad I tell you.
Things that I do. Things I can recommend. Things that just feel darn good and juicy.
1. Bring awareness to how I feel. Be IN it. So often right now, when my Ego-self tries to tell me to tap OUT of how I feel when it's uncomfortable (drugs, wine/alcohol, porn, Netflix, are all deflectors/buffers for people), I aim to do the opposite right now, and feel it FULLY. I try and name the emotion so I can try to pinpoint WHY I feel it. Is it anger? Why. Is it grief or sadness? Why? Is it frustration? Why?
This allows me to validate the emotion and then I visualise it flowing through me.
The relationship with self in this process is big. I also ask myself what I can achieve in those moments. Taking from a famous verse, can I find serenity in accepting what I cannot change in that moment? Can I be courageous enough to change what I can? Can I be present enough to discern the difference in these two?
2. Shake, dance, twirl, jump, rock-your-body - music helps. Shaking or vibrating helps to release muscular tension, burn excess adrenaline, and calm the nervous system to its neutral state, thereby managing stress levels in the body. I like to shake erratically, in totally ungraceful ways, to music in the mornings, or when I am feeling very heavy (lot's of Belinda Carlisle, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey songs lately). Dance can do the same thing. Try lots of up and down movements, jump, skip, leap... Make it count.
3. Turn off the news, disconnect the feed. I'm slowly unfollowing so many 'news' platforms and businesses who share information designed to instil fear, coerce, condition and manipulate in inhumane ways, and/or trigger my own fight-anger-aggression instinct. (Which is STRONG right now, ;) but sends my nervous system up).
4. Immerse yourself in nature. Let us not forget that we are nature, and that to disconnect with the wider, natural earth, is to disconnect with ourselves.
Something that always, always brings me 'home' is when I consciously place awareness on the truth that we can often forget, the unwavering 'forward' of nature.
Regardless of what divisive topic is being thrown around the world, the birds sing as the sun rises. Regardless of what is said at the press conference, the wind still blows. Regardless of what the stranger on the internet said to you, the rain still falls. Regardless of the heartlessness of man, the flower still blooms. Regardless, regardless, regardless. The tide changes, the sun rises and sets, the waves crash, new shoots break the surface of the ground. The baby is born. These most pure truths are North stars. Be in Nature. Witness her ever-ness. She is you.
5. Body work - touch - physical flow. Physical self-touch and supporting physical body flow is a ritual I follow daily. I body brush my dry body, flowing along my limbs towards my heart, over my lymphatic glands, until I'm tingling. I then massage my limbs with grapefruit and cypress essential oils in Jojoba oil. These are the oils of honouring the body, and the oils of motion and flow, respectively. This supports removal of toxins, supports lymphatic drainage, and the act of physical touch and care I can receive from my own two palms is something women can do with more. Touch and create flow, lovingly, with and for yourself.
6. Movement. Sweat. Heart thumping. Muscle-compression or tension. Whatever that looks like. For me that's surfing and some f45 sessions. I deliberately chose to do the Make a Wave challenge this month and committed to surfing for 30 days in a row... knowing that some days, the weather wouldn't be optimal.
Taking committed action, through discomfort, is magic for our empowerment. Perhaps you can sign up for a fun run, or set a goal to run 5 or 10kms if you haven't before. Start a 30 day yoga practice at home. (Yoga with Adriene on YouTube has brilliant challenges and Turia Pitt is doing some great things with running inspo).
Physically healthy bodies, cope better with heavy emotional times. Fact. Move because you're worth it.
[I can personally recommend a movement practice that combines getting out in nature, with heart-thumping alive-making movement] 🌊
7. Essential oils for calm, grounding and reducing anxiety.
Mamma's, women, friends; I cannot, cannot, cannot express how grateful I am for 2016 me who decided to start purchasing the most pure - most tested and trusted - essential oils on earth to use in my personal and home environment.
Back then, I didn't understand the therapeutic and clinical applications that were possible. I didn't comprehend the efficacy of these plant medicines for supporting every system of my physical, emotional and spiritual body; that of my children and husband, and to make our home environment a place conducive to wellbeing.
I can't imagine motherhood without essential oils. I can't imagine my day to day life without them.
First aid, sleep support, calming and grounding. I can't imagine THESE TIMES without them.
If I only speak for today, the oils that have brought me emotional support include: Citrus Bliss for uplifting us in the kitchen as soon as we woke.
Frankincense on my crown-chakra/top of my skull before acupuncture to expand light and consciousness + support immune and nervous system. I use Frankincense a LOT when I'm feeling overwhelmed by heaviness as it expands us emotionally. Studies also show it can help support people with depression.
Lavender, considered a nervous system restorative helping with inner peace, sleep, restlessness, irritability, panic attacks, nervous tension and nervous stomach. One of the BEST essential oils. We blend with Balance in a hair spritz for the girls before school and I often use as a perfume.
And Lavender Peace blend diffusing today while I rested in the lounge with a hectic bout of painful swimmers ear. The mix of Lavender, Vetiver - which helps with brain health, anxiety, nervousness and body function - and Marjoram, an oil that has been shown to calm the nervous system.
Our emotions don't disappear if we push them down. And the essential oils can assist us to process, work through trauma or wounding, and ground ourselves in heightened states of unrest. We wouldn't want to live without them.
And I don't want you to either.
I see you.
We can move through hard feelings.
For essential oils to support physical and emotional health, great starting points are either The Home Essentials Kit, the Family Essentials Kit of the Natures’sSolutions kit. All come with oils historically used for every body system, plus emotional support, first-aid support and low-tox home support.
For Mood specific oils, the Emotional Wellness Starter pack is wonderful and also comes with a bottle of the oil used for supporting the Big A - the Adaptiv blend.
Please see details of how to purchase below.
Emotional Wellness Starter Kit $226AUD
Your doTERRA wholesale Account (dōTERRA oils + products at 25% off
doTERRA Balance® Grounding Blend 15 mL
Citrus Bliss® Invigorating Blend 15 mL
Lavender Peace™ Restful Blend 15 mL
Elevation™ Joyful Blend 15 mL
doTERRA Adaptiv™ Tranquil Blend 15 mL
Introductory Packet & Enrolment
Home Essentials Starter Kit $339AUD
Your dōTERRA Wholesale Account (dōTERRA oils + products at 25% off!)
Oregano 15mL
Tea Tree 15mL
Lemon 15mL
Frankincense 15mL
On Guard® 15mL
Lavender 15mL
Peppermint 15mL
DigestZen® 15mL
Easy Air® 15mL
Ice Blue® 5mL
Petal Diffuser
How to get started:
Step 1: head to: www.mydoterra.com/alicenicholls
Step 2: Click 'Join and Save'
Step 3: Select your Language & Country of Residence
Step 4: Choose Wholesale Customer or Wellness Advocate
Step 5: Select the starter kit you would like (and waive the joining fee)
Step 6: At Enroller id, make sure my number 3288471 is displayed then click verify to see my name Alice Nicholls
Step 7: Fill out shipping info
Step 8: Process your order!
